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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22404553">To Be and To Become</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProudHaikyuuTrash/pseuds/ProudHaikyuuTrash'>ProudHaikyuuTrash</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aka A bunch of Self destructive volleyball idiots, Gen, Japanese Volleyball Team, Listen if Oikawa is not in the natonal team I'll actually cry, Oikawa Is The Mom Friend, Oikawa taking care of his team, They love him, also bokuto hinata koyomi and nishinoya are barely there, and Sue Furudate, and he loves them, but mostly cry, but still, hoshiumi too</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 11:48:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22404553</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProudHaikyuuTrash/pseuds/ProudHaikyuuTrash</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa Tooru and how he became the official team mother of the Japanese Volleyball Team, An Introspective in five parts.</p><p>Or, where Oikawa Tooru taking care of his team of volleyball idiots and the fortress of trust that rises along with it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kageyama Tobio &amp; Oikawa Tooru, Miya Atsumu &amp; Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru &amp; Sakusa Kiyoomi, Oikawa Tooru &amp; Suna Rintarou, Oikawa Tooru &amp; Ushijima Wakatoshi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>323</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>To Be and To Become</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>One.</strong>
</p><p>Before he even realizes he is on the court, on his knees, not heeding any shouts that come his way. His arms go around the bent figure almost obsessively.</p><p> </p><p>The accident happened almost as he remembered happening to himself, in 2nd year of middle school. He shouts over panicked voices, over the coach's enquiring voice- instructions blazed at the back of his throat, ready for an incident just like this, a caution.</p><p> </p><p>The coach calms, understands that Tooru knows what he is doing and so he follows. He lets Tooru blanket the crouched figure with his body and yells for the infirmary.</p><p> </p><p>The team on the other side is whispering, game forgotten as they wait with baited breaths.</p><p> </p><p>Tooru feels a frantic panic build inside him, but he is older and he knows the brunt of such an injury; he takes a deep breath and allows Kageyama to clutch his hand and he runs his fingers along his back, whispers comfort in his hair.</p><p> </p><p>The on-site paramedic comes and Tooru almost snarls at how they heave up his kouhai. He swats their hands away and heaves Kageyama gently, supporting most of his weight.</p><p> </p><p>He meets the coach's eyes and then leads Kageyama to the infirmary.</p><p> </p><p>It's only after Kageyama is stretched across the infirmary bed, knee swollen and red that Tobio speaks.</p><p> </p><p>With all the frustration spilling out, panic rising, Tobio looks at him with anxious eyes, "We need to go back to the game; it was a critical moment, I can't just leave-"</p><p> </p><p>Before the younger can ramble further, Tooru cuts him off, harsh yet gentle, "Don't you dare even think about stepping in a court for the next 2 months." He snarls, voice choked, as if it too, remembers the panic, the throbbing pain at 10 pm, the spilled tears across Kitgawa's gym floor when he had clutched his knees and dialed Iwaizumi's number with shaking fingers.</p><p> </p><p>"But-"</p><p> </p><p>"No buts, Tobio." He says with a finality as the on site doctors do whatever they can to Kageyama's knee before he can be sent to a hospital. Then almost as if whispering a secret, he ruffles Tobio's hair and says, pointing at the white brace across his knee, "Your knee isn't as bad as mine; you will heal and have no problem playing as usual, so don't try to exert yourself and damage your knee further."</p><p> </p><p>Tobio finally quietens, though the frustrated sigh and clenched fists does little to hide his annoyance.</p><p> </p><p>Tooru sighs again.</p><p> </p><p>"Atsumu is as good a setter as you, and he and Shouyou can pull of your freak quick as well so don't worry that head of yours with any bad thoughts."</p><p> </p><p>Tobio's posture relaxes further, but tension still remains present and honestly, Tooru can't blame him. With Olympics less than 6 months away, any serious injury can have career ending damage. Even though Tooru wants to remain nonchalant, (Kageyama's injury means a higher chance of him getting to play) Tooru can't help the worry gnawing at him.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn't want his place in the court if it means Kageyama, a valuable asset to the team, being out of commission. Tobio might be his rival but now he is his junior, successor, teammate and ally....even friend.</p><p> </p><p>Even if Tobio was his worst enemy, he wouldn't wish the pain of a dislocated knee, the tears of frustration and relentless fear that plagued his dream still.</p><p> </p><p>He looks at the swollen knee, his hand automatically coming to pat his in reassurance, before he meets Tobio's eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"What is it?" He asks, noticing the other glancing at him.</p><p> </p><p>"Why are you here?" Tobio asks without any bite, only confusion. "You could be on the court now."</p><p> </p><p>"Atsumu is a fantastic setter; and if anything happens Shouyou can always substitute as a setter. He is decent enough."</p><p> </p><p>Kageyama still doesn't relent, repeats his question, eyes determined.</p><p> </p><p>Tooru grits his teeth, "I'm worried." He admits, shaking his head instantly when he notice the panic in Tobio's eyes, "No no no, not your knee. It's not that. Your knee injury isn't uncommon, especially among jump servers and setters. It's not anything serious I swear."</p><p> </p><p>"Then?"</p><p> </p><p>"You need someone here." Tooru says, "You might think you are enough by yourself but you need someone here with you until the ambulance comes- moral support and stuff."</p><p> </p><p>Tobio looks even more confused and Tooru sighs, "When I injured my knee, I was alone in the gym and it was around 10 o'clock... I had to call Iwa-chan to come and take me to the hospital...I know you have enough people here but...I don't want you to be alone...as much as we hate each other, we do know each other the longest...I don't want you to go through what I went through-"</p><p> </p><p>"But-"</p><p> </p><p>"Tobio, its one game and one set; it won't have a detrimental impact on my career, I think if I was on court now, it will be worse than me not being on it."</p><p> </p><p>Pink rises on Tobio's cheeks as he diverts his eyes, "Thanks."</p><p> </p><p>Tooru laughs, hand reaching to ruffle Tobio's hair, "You'll be fine I promise."</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>Two.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> Tooru really wonders when he took on the mantle of the mom friend of the team. He really does. Never in the 25 years of his life did he have to take off-court duties because Iwa-chan was always the off-court captain.</p><p> </p><p>But, here he was, at 5 am in the morning on his off day, dragging his feet to the gym because a <em>certain someone</em> had decided to ghost the gym at this God-ass hour in the morning when all of them were supposed to get their much needed sleep.</p><p> </p><p>He sighs as he steps into the gym, flinching slightly at the sound of balls of hitting the floor and trainers squeaking.</p><p> </p><p>"Ushiwaka." He calls out sternly, a frown intact on his face, "What are you doing here at this hour? The sun hasnt even come up yet." He almost groans.</p><p> </p><p>"I woke up early and decided to practice some serves." Tooru barely battles down the groan rising. Why does this...monster? Idiot? Monster idiot? Sound so refreshed so early in the morning?</p><p> </p><p>"It's our rest day and in...3 and a half hour the team will be going out for team bonding...wouldn't it be wise to use these hours getting efficient sleep?"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm an early riser." Comes the short reply before Ushiwaka launches another serve.</p><p> </p><p>"You went to sleep at 2 am last night; that's barely three hours of sleep..." then it dawns on Tooru, "You didn't sleep at all did you?"</p><p> </p><p>Ushijima doesn't answer and Tooru lets out a frustrated growl, "What <em>are </em>you? A kindergartener? As an athlete, you should know more than anyone how important sleep is for you-"</p><p> </p><p>"Oikawa," Ushijima cuts him off halfway through his rant, "I couldn't sleep because I still had too much energy to burn and I preferred burning some of it before I tried sleeping again."</p><p> </p><p>Tooru sighed, rubbing his forehead, "Okay, okay, I suppose that's smart enough."</p><p>Ushijima focuses on the ball in his hand again, throwing it up as he moves in for a jump serve.</p><p> </p><p>Tooru yawns, shaking his head, "Insomnia?"</p><p> </p><p>Ushijima halts mid throw, looks at him inquiringly, before he drops the ball in the cart nearby and nods, "Yes."</p><p> </p><p>Tooru shakes his head in understanding, "Help me put these back." He says without</p><p>further explanation, already reaching to undo the net.</p><p> </p><p>"But-"</p><p> </p><p>"You need enough sleep or it will affect your play; we have Olympics in 5 months and Tobio is still banned from the club, we can't lose another member now."</p><p> </p><p>"I can't sleep anyway," Ushijima mutters, wheeling the cart inside the storage.</p><p> </p><p>"I know, and I have something for it." Tooru says as they make their ways out of the gym and locks the door. "Come to my room, I have a playlist I can give you to help with sleep; I listen to it most of the time when I can’t sleep."</p><p> </p><p>There isn’t much conversation shared as they trudge up to their rooms. Despite being teammates for over a year after Oikawa made his return to Japan as part of the National Team, years of animosity still have left a scar on their relationship.</p><p> </p><p>“Here,” Tooru yawns, extending his mp3 player, “Try to get at a little sleep and if you can’t don’t exert your body.”</p><p> </p><p>Ushijima nods silently, taking the mp3, before he enters into his own dorm room. Tooru is about to shut the door and return to sleep when Ushiwaka calls out to him, “Oikawa,”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you.” Tooru’s eyes soften and he smiles.</p><p> </p><p>“No problem Wakatoshi-kun.” With his smile returns, two identical clicks sound as the doors are locked. With a yawn, Tooru falls on his duvet, wrapping it around him like a burrito before sleep claims him.   </p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>Three.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>It doesn’t take Tooru long to see Sakusa, despite the crowd of huge giants, fidgeting, mouth set in a scowl. It takes him even less time to realize that the boy is trying to hold back shivers. A panic attack, his mind screams and he abandons his conversation with Bokuto with an excuse as he speed-walks to his bag.</p><p> </p><p>Urgently he fishes out what he was looking for, put on top of all this things for exactly this scenario. He grabs the plastic bag and his tracksuit jacket before he makes his way to Sakusa standing at the corner.</p><p> </p><p>Without a word, he extends the plastic bag to the male. When he doesn’t take it, Tooru unwraps the plastic from around the mask and explains, “I bought it yesterday, it’s unused.”</p><p> </p><p>Noting the hesitancy in the other’s stance he sighs, “Kiyoomi.”</p><p> </p><p>The raven-hair sighs as he grabs the mask and immediately puts it on.</p><p>Giving the younger a few moments to fix the mask, Tooru extends his jacket next, “Wear it, it’s washed.” He commands and is glad to be heard the first time. “There’s hand sanitizer in the right pocket and another mask in the left; if you feel ansty again, I don’t care who I am speaking to, you come and find me. We still have three hours before the procession begins and I can’t have you having a panic attack when we have to go and greet the players.”</p><p> </p><p>Sakusa nods wordlessly and Tooru gives him a reassuring smile, “It’s alright Kiyoomi, we all have our phobias and you don’t need to step out of your comfort zone to accommodate others.” With that Tooru leaves Sakusa, having been called by the coach.</p><p> </p><p>If some five minutes later, Komori and Suna come to chat beside him, he doesn’t comment, smiling slightly behind his white mask.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>Four.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> Suna isn’t really sure what was going on when Oikawa dragged him away from mid-serve and sat him down on the bench. He looks up at the older’s frown as he glares down at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Rintarou.” The older growls, “What are you doing at practice?”</p><p> </p><p>Suna’s brows raise as he shrugs, “Er…practicing?”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t act smart,” the older scolds, and Suna is still confused about what this is all about.</p><p> </p><p>“Oikawa-san?”</p><p> </p><p>“Your movements are stiff and awkward,” the older male says, “Yesterday you landed wrong during the serve, probably pulled a muscle or two…”</p><p> </p><p>Realization dawns across Suna’s features, “I am fine though? It was a minor cramp.”</p><p> </p><p>“Minor becomes major if you strain it,” Oikawa scolds, “Don’t try practicing today; just help around the circuits. Jumping and running will only causes discomfort and more complications later and we can’t have that with Olympics a month away.”</p><p> </p><p>“But-” Suna’s protests die down quickly with the glare Oikawa gives him and he mutters a meek “Sure thing” as he settles in his seat.</p><p> </p><p>Oikawa nods in satisfaction, jogging over to the silent players who found it more interesting to watch Suna get fretted over than practice.</p><p> </p><p>“All of you are gonna give me white hair before I even get married.” Oikawa sighs as he takes over ordering different circuits</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>Five</strong>
</p><p> Atsumu groans, wrapping the duvet around him tighter as his dorm door is slammed open. He waits for whoever it is to come to ask of his health like the rest of his team mates did the whole day. What he doesn’t expect is to be shaken awake some 30 minutes later as Oikawa stands at the foot of his bed with a tray.</p><p> </p><p>“How are you feeling now?” the older setter asks, setting the tray down on his bedside stable, “Has the fever gone down yet?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know; didn’t check.” He rasped out before breaking into a coughing fit. His head is heavy and his throat feels like someone dragged a knife across it.</p><p> </p><p>Oikawa clicks his tongue, extending his hand to check his temperature before thrusting a thermometer in his ear.</p><p> </p><p>“Good, it’s significantly gone down.” The older sighs in relief, “Come on, sit up, you gotta eat.”</p><p> </p><p>Atsumu groans in disapproval but Oikawa remains unfazed as he drags the setter to sit up. He pushes two pillows behind his back and helps him lean against it. He puts the tray in his lap and frowns when Atsumu makes no move.</p><p> </p><p>“You gotta eat,” he says, “Otherwise you can’t have the medicine and then your fever won’t go down and you won’t be able to play.”</p><p> </p><p>“What are you, my mom?” Atsumu grumbles.</p><p>Oikawa’s laugh tinkles in the quiet room as he says, “I suppose someone has to be considering everyone in this team love to self-destruct.” At Atsumu’s raised brow, Oikawa puts his hands up, “Including me; especially me, considering I am nowhere near as talented as you and Tobio are and how much I want to stand on the court.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oikawa-kun,” Atsumu sighs, “When will you learn that you are as good as me and Tobio; just ‘coz you din’t make it to Nationals in high school, doesn’t mean you ain’t a good player.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am not-”</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe yer this cold-hearted to make me talk so much when I’m sick,” Atsumu cuts him off, “But you gotta hear this. The four years you played in Argentina, yer team consistently stayed at the top. Now yer at Tachibana and they are second in the V.League. If that ain’t a good setter, I dunno what is.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, yeah-”</p><p> </p><p>“And yer back in the country for barely a year and already almost caught up with me in rankings.” Atsumu huffs, “Ye don’ need to be a genius to be a setter; yer have good communication with the team and value everyone equally. Yer persistent and bring out the 100% of whichever team you play. My ears are bugged listening to Wakatoshi-kun and Tobio sing yer praises and yer still be thinking that yer not good enough?”</p><p> </p><p>“Chirst Atsumu, eat your damn food,” Oikawa smiles, cheeks tinged with pink. Atsumu grumbles incomprehensively, taking a mouthful of rice, “I know you are not gonna believe this, but I am happy with my position here. I never thought I’d be in the National Team but I am a pinch server for this team. All of you are strong; and I thought I am not good enough, but y’know all of you lean on me when it gets too hard and I do get subbed in often when you start to panic or Tobio gets all ansty.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t mind not being the first choice anymore because I know that everyone, the coaches and the team relies on me whether I’m on court or not.” Tooru smiles, “It’s not me alone on that court that has to be good.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good that ye know that,” Atsumu grumbles, clearing his throat.</p><p> </p><p>Tooru passes him the glass of water and takes the tray once Atsumu is done. “Paracetamol is there, take two and get some sleep.”</p><p>Atsumu nods in agreement and watches Tooru leave the room.</p><p> </p><p>No one says anything when the next morning Tooru is spread across his couch and snoring softly. Atsumu drags himself across the floor before he drapes a clean blanket on the older and goes back to sleep.</p>
<hr/><p>+1. The match is at its peak with Korea on match point. The tension is so high that Oikawa is sure it can be cut with a knife.</p><p>Japan scores.</p><p> </p><p>Oikawa sighs in relief.</p><p> </p><p>The coach calls him to the bench and he doesn’t need to be told as he moves onto the court, swapping in with Bokuto.</p><p> </p><p>Pinch server.</p><p> </p><p>That’s what Oikawa takes pride in now. He high-fives his teammates on the team and Atsumu’s eyes are twinkling when he passes him the ball. Behind him, Kageyama grins, open and genuine.</p><p> </p><p>Komori winks as he gives him thumb up. Hoshiumi pats him on the back. Sakusa smirks along with Ushijima’s smile that feels far too comforting now more than ever. His team grins at him with an astounding certainty that lifts bags and bags of weight of his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“We believe in you.” They chorus, as he takes his position. He is given a moment of silence for the shock to sink in. Even Kageyama, Sakusa and Ushijima exude an aura of confidence and utmost trust in his abilities.</p><p> </p><p>He looks at the stand, smiling as he sees Bokuto, Hinata and Nishinoya yell at the top of their lungs. He doesn’t need to hear for him to know that they are yelling the words he repeats to his teammates before every match.</p><p> </p><p>The coach nods at him, satisfied and content. He meets the eyes of every one of his team in front of him and smiles at the stands.</p><p> </p><p>The whistle blows.</p><p> </p><p>The ball returns to his palm like coming home after being gone for too long.  He is the Grand King and now he reclaims his kingdom.</p><p> </p><p>He still doesn’t know how the match will end but the resounding smack of the ball at the other side of the court is confirmation enough for him to know that this final rally, he will get to play.</p><p> </p><p>His team grins and Tooru smirks alongside them.</p>
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